Hot Mess Nelly

At least once a day I ask my husband the question, "Think we're supposed to be this tired?"

In my mind I ask it way more than just once though, and it's followed by other questions like:

Should our house be this messy still?   
Will I ever not wear maternity jeans?
Should I be back to cooking?
When will I not feel like a freight train hit me?
When are my hormones going to calm.the.heck.down?
She's almost 3 months...should we be like, pros by now or what?

Questions, questions, questions.  I have a thousand.  And when they're swirling around I think to myself one of two things.  

The first is that I seriously need to just calm the heck down.  Give myself a break.  I not only just grew a human inside of my body, but then I birthed her, and now I'm solely sustaining her little life with my body as well.  That's a loooooot.  That's a lot!  Calm down, Kir.  Go sit on the couch & play Words With Friends or something.

But then I think the second thing, and that is that I should be back to normal.  That it's been 3 months & it's time to have more energy.  Feel more like myself.  Be close to fitting back into my jeans (it is so not happening).  That I should be resuming life as it used to be, but now just with Ellie here.

I'm assuming life never goes back to the normal it was before having a baby- but it seems like from the outside looking in- that most people's lives go back to the way they were in some ways.  People seem to still make dinner. They seem to still dress cute & do their hair from time to time.  Right?  If I run errands with E all day I get home & literally feel like I ran 3 marathons in a row.  With no water break.  Tired.  So incredibly tired.

So what's realistic?  I literally have never had a first baby before- so you know- I'm new.  What was your story with your first baby?  Did you find yourself back to your old self practically by this point?  Or was it longer? Everyone's different- obviously.  But stories are helpful.  They make you feel not so confused & alone.  So shoot!  I wanna hear- how was life different after your baby & when did you get your groove back?  And should I feel guilty about buying frozen dinners as often as I do?  I think they may put drugs in Stouffer's Mac and Cheese because it sure does keep finding it's way into our home.